Cigarettes stink! Cigarettes stink! Cigarettes stink! posted by Beerbeerbeer

Beerbeerbeer: Once again, cigarettes stink. I have been smoking for a year and I have just been informed that cigarettes cause lung cancer. If I get lung cancer, I'm gonna sue!

MEisMe: I've been smoking for a year. I must have smoked a thousand cigarettes with no problems. So whoever is making this claim is wrong.

Asgood: It was reported by the Small Street Journal of Medicine and the Better Health Bureau gets over 40 cancer complaints a month that are linked to cigarettes.

Hoofguy: Whoever has cancer KNOWS why they got it and it has nothing to do with cigarettes. They probably visited one of the countries on the high pollution list.

Asgood: And what about the Better Health Bureau?

Hoofguy: Most of those complaints are users who didn't follow instructions and not the fault of the cigarette company.

Asgood: And what about the reports of folks who followed all the rules and still got cancer?

PalmalDamon: I can't comment on specific cases. But if you follow the rules, you will be protected against lung cancer. The rules appear on our web site:

1. Only smoke our brand of cigarettes
2. Never visit one of the high pollution countries on our list
3. Never accept a cigarette unless you see the person open the pack.
4. Never accept two cigarettes from two different packs.
5. You must keep signed proof of medical health at all times and a notarized statement affirming that you have never smoked our competitor's brand of cigarettes.
6. You must file a copy of your driver's license proving that you are of legal age to smoke.

Caveman1: PALMAL IS A BUNCH OF CROOKS! THEY TOOK MY MONEY AND DIDN'T SEND ME ANY CIGARETTES. I'M LOOKING TO GET TOGETHER A GROUP OF PEOPLE TO SUE THEM!

Couchpotatohead: PalmalDamon, I had sent in my driver's license to be verified. But my driver's license was just suspended and you unverified me. Why? I'm still the same person I was before.

PalmalDamon: That's the way the rules work. It must be a valid driver's license.

Caveman1: PALMAL IS A BUNCH OF CROOKS! THEY TOOK MY MONEY AND DIDN'T SEND ME ANY CIGARETTES. I'M LOOKING TO GET TOGETHER A GROUP OF PEOPLE TO SUE THEM!

Couchpotatohead: But that makes no sense. Losing my driver's license doesn't suddenly make me younger.

PalmalDamon: We do this to prevent folks from gaming the system.

Caveman1: PALMAL IS A BUNCH OF CROOKS! THEY TOOK MY MONEY AND DIDN'T SEND ME ANY CIGARETTES. I'M LOOKING TO GET TOGETHER A GROUP OF PEOPLE TO SUE THEM!

Moderator: Caveman1, you have repeated the same post several times here and in numerous other threads. If you persist in doing this, your posting priviledges will be revoked.

Couchpotatohead: PalmalDamon, you still haven't answered my question. Once you have my driver's license, you know my age. If my license gets expired, my age doesn't change.

PalmalDamon: I have answered your question. I'm sorry that you don't like the answer.

Smoker: PalmalDamon, I signed up a bunch of folks and never got the 5 free cigarettes you promised. What gives?

PalmalDamon: Did they complete the entire process to get the bonus? Remember that the steps are:

1. User must sign up with your link.
2. User must provide bank account, utility bill, driver's license, medical records, x-rays and blood sample.
3. User must send in notarized statement affirming that they only smoke our brand.
4. User must purchase 250 packs of Palmal cigarettes.
4. User must send in empty cartons of cigarettes within one month of signing up.

Smoke: I guess I shouldn't expect that bonus anytime soon, huh?

Caveman1: PALMAL IS A BUNCH OF CROOKS! THEY TOOK MY MONEY AND DIDN'T SEND ME ANY CIGARETTES. I'M LOOKING TO GET TOGETHER A GROUP OF PEOPLE TO SUE THEM!

Moderator: Caveman1, you have been warned. Your posting priviledges have been revoked!

Anothersmoker: Someone tried to send me cigarettes but they never came. What happened?

PalmalDamon: Did they have the correct address?

Anothersmoker: No, they had the address wrong. But why did you accept the order? I think your service stinks.

Nonsmoker: I don't smoke and someone sent me cigarettes. How dare Palmal take the order! I have half a mind to sue them.

MEisME: Didn't the Post Office attempt to deliver it? Why don't you sue them too?

Asgood: PalmalDamon, you still haven't explained about the guy who only used your product, never went to one of the countries on your list and still got lung cancer. I'm still waiting to hear an explanation.

PalmalDamon: If you would check your sources before you report, you will discover that he didn't have lung cancer, only throat cancer. Next time check your facts before starting a panic.

Beerbeerbeer: Cigarettes stink! Cigarettes stink! Cigarettes stink!

Moderator: Since no one seems to have anything to add to this discussion, I will be locking this thread.